A Whole New World
by Burden
Summary: Please note the awful Disney pun. Sora, Donald, Goofy, and Riku,discover a new Disney world far away. But this world is extremely dangerous, and soon the foursome gets sucked into a whirl of dancing, sports, drama, love, deception, and sports. ...


Happy Valentine's Day~! Since I didn't get my friends anything for this wonderfully lonely holiday (thank you for the Zack puppy, Morgan!), I wrote them this madness instead.

A rather odd joke of ours, indeed. I won't get into it, but…let's just say…it's jolly good fun to write things like this. :D

Lots of research went into this. :x I hardly had any idea what I was doing…

0-0

I hope it isn't too badly written, friends and strangers reading this. :3 Be warned, the beginning is a-borin'. :x;

Enjoy, then! Happy Valentine's Day to you guys, and everyone else out there!

---XX---

Sora leaned back in the seat of his brightly colored gummi vehicle, arms behind his head and a confident smile on his face.

"I think we handled that pretty well, guys!" He called back to his two friends, Donald and Goofy, who nodded and smiled cheerily.

"Those Heartless never stood a chance, hyuk!" Goofy exclaimed happily, turning back to his controls.

They were drifting aimlessly through space, passing by small and large hunks of multi-colored land at a slow but steady pace. Sora closed his eyes, resting his feet up on the control panel.

"There's no way any Heartless or Nobodies will stand a chance against us!"

"Yeah!" Sora's pants-less duck friend yelled, thrusting his wand into the air. He wiggled his feet, turning his chair around to click buttons on his section of the control panel.

"And the Or-" the Keybladister was interrupted by a loud siren sounding off in their vessel, a red light flashing through the cockpit.

"Waaaah!" Donald yelled, haphazardly pressing buttons to make the blaring noise stop. Sora's eyes shot open, his feet connecting to the floor again and his hands working the rainbow colored buttons as well.

"What's goin' on?" Goofy yelled over the siren, working at his buttons quickly.(;)

"I-" a bright white light burst through the window of the gummi ship, blinding the trio temporarily. The siren stopped, the red light as well. The trio looked out the window once the brightness had died down, and gasped.

"Is this a…"

A shape began to form through the light, a large mass roughly the size and shape of Argrabah. Some splotches of white deepened into red, others stayed white and formed into buildings.

"Guys…" Sora whispered, mostly to himself, his bright smile returning as he stared out at the clump of buildings in front of them.

"We've found another world!"

---(O__O;)---

The gummi ship parked smoothly on the white concrete and opened to let its pilots out into the strange new world. Sora looked around with wide eyes.

It was a high school (Sora could only tell because of the large sign in the front), but it resembled some sort of mass red and white empire. There was a giant statue of a panther jumping near the school entrance, which read:

HOME OF THE EAST HIGH WILDCATS

The front of the school was completely empty; hopefully there was some learning going on. But the whole place gave Sora goosebumps.

"What is this place…?" Donald and Goofy inquired in unison.

Sora sighed. "It's high school." He swallowed and walked towards the front doors, his friends trailing nervously behind.

---(=^_^=)---

The hallways were bleached white, with red lockers lining the walls all the way down into oblivion. Sora looked around, nervous. The halls were empty, too. He turned his head, spying a red door amidst the metal lockers.

"Huh, triple question marks…let's check this out."

He stepped through the door and into the cutscene nevously. It was a classroom, with a score of students busily working at, according to the chalkboard at the front of the class, page 332, 1-20 all. The teacher looked up from his own work and glared at Sora over the rim of his rimless glasses, scowling.

"Who are you?" the teenagers stopped working and looked up at him.

"I-uh, I…" he was saved by a bell that nearly deafened him. The kids all stood up and nearly ran him over; he ducked into the flow of students and escaped into the hall.

Now the students covered every inch of the hall, filling it with their loud chatter and annoying annoyingness.

"Jeez, that was useless…" Sora breathed, taking the time to look down and see if he was injured-

"What the heck happened to my clothes?!" he was wearing a red basketball jersey with matching shorts, and morbidly oversized white sneakers with red laces. The number 69 was pressed onto his shirt(I'm so lame) in lighter red numerals.

"Why didn't you guys tell me I looked like this?!"

"We were gonna, but, uh…" Goofy stammered. "We had our own problems."

"Yeah!!" Donald shrieked, pointing to his shirt, which was the same as Sora's with the number 2 on it. Still no pants. Goofy was dressed identical to Sora, only his jersey had a 0 on it.

"This is ridiculo-"

"HEYY!" Sora turned around to see two students dressed in the same basketball uniform jogging towards them, waving their hands.

"You guys our new teammates?"

Sora couldn't say anything; he was overcome with shock. The one speaking to him had light brown hair, with sweaty skin resembling a Barbie doll's. His teeth were blindingly white, rivaling the bleached walls around them. But the spray-tanned walking Barbie wasn't what surprised him; it was Barbie's teammate.

The student next to Barbie stared at Sora with equal confusion. His blue eyes widened as he recognized the Keyblade master.

"Riku?!"

"Sora?!"

"Troy."

Riku and Sora stared over at Barbie, who shrugged. "I felt left out. So, you guys like, playing with us or not?"

"S-sure…." Sora walked up to Riku, attempting to put a hand through his chest, and failing miserably.

"Coolio! Meet us in the gym, bros. Later, R-dog." 'Troy' walked off, leaving the two boys staring at eachother in disbelief.

"…What the hell are you doing here!?" they said to eachother in unison.

"What are you doing here, Riku? I'm so confused…why were you hanging over in this world with that Barbie…thing?"

Riku sighed. He stared down at the floor. "It's…a long story. I can tell you at lunch. We should go to the gym, Troy and Chad are waiting."

_Barbie? Lunch? Troy and Chad? Gym?_

Riku led Sora through the students to the gymnasium, Sora clueless as to what in the bloody hell had happened to his friend.

---(OMG)---

"Hey, there you guys are! R-dog, mind introducing us to your homies?"

"S-sure…" Riku said, gesturing towards the trio of utterly confused arrivals.

"This is Sora, Donald, and…Jeffrey."

Troy walked up to Sora, holding up his hand. "Rock on!" Sora slapped hands with him, rubbing his palm on his shorts after he moved on to slap some fives with Donald and Jeffrey.

"So dudes, grab some balls and lets roll."

Riku slapped his forhead, walking over to the shopping cart full of basketballs and grabbing one. Sora walked over as well, and swore he could he Riku mumbling: "Here we go again…" the Keyblade Master's stomach suddenly dropped.

The basketball team, Sora, Donald, Jeffrey, and Riku lined up on the court, hilariously serious looks on their faces as they prepared for practice-

Or a dance number.

The music came from nowhere, the players moving their feet and balls like ballerinas. Sora felt inclined to join in their merry ball-handling, and was surprised when he realized he knew what to do, he looked over at Donald, Jeffrey and Riku, who were all synchronized perfectly; Donald and Jeffrey were singing, and Riku was obviously suppressing the urge to murder somebody.

---(Oh my.)---

Once the dance number was over, the sweaty, well built teenagers all put their balls in their personal sacks and went into the locker room(…); all except for, of course, Donald, Sora, Jeffrey, Riku- and…Troy.

"Rad ball handling out there, guys!" Troy said, grinning. Sora squinted at the sudden light, smiling weakly.

"Thanks…?"

"So you guys wanna like, totally come help in the musical place after lunch? You guys can like, help us," Troy smiled brighter. "with stuff!"

"S-sounds great…" Sora said, now being overcome with the glare of Troy's teeth.

"Rad! See ya later, R-dog, S-dizzle, J-pop, D-dude." Troy ran off, leaving the foursome to adjust to the normal light.

"Okay…please tell me what the heck is going on."

---(-_-)---

Riku picked out a vacant table and sat down with Sora. They sent Donald and Jeffrey to go get them some food.

"Okay…what do you wanna know first?"

"Why are _you _here?"

Riku sighed. "It…was an accident. I was aiming for Wonderland, right next to this hell-hole."

Sora raised an eyebrow. "If it's so bad, why are you still here?"

Riku's eye twitched. "I _can't leave._ This place…this place won't let me."

"…What?"

"You shouldn't have come here, Sora! You'll never get out until you've sealed the Keyhole!"

Sora grinned. "So I'll seal the Keyhole and then we can leave. Not that hard. There aren't even any Heartless-"

"You don't get it!" Riku slammed a fist on the- I'll give you three seconds to guess- red table.

"There is no Keyhole! I've searched this place high and low, it's not here!"

Now Sora's eye twitched. "H-huh? There has to be one!"

Riku shook his head. "You're trapped here, Sora. I've been here for over 2 months! I think I'm becoming… one of them…"

Sora gasped. "No…"

Riku nodded. "I've been having strange thoughts. About tanning booths and teeth whitening toothpastes…and I have the biggest urge to sing with someone…"

"Y-you can fight it, Riku! Don't give in to the darkness!" Sora reached out, but Riku pushed him away.

"I have to go. I need to help Troy and Gabriella with their performance."

O_O

:D That was fun. But it was more disturbing than comical or parody-like.

Oh well, hope you enjoyed?

Please review! Tell me if you want me to continue this foolishness or not~!

Owari for now, though. Review, and I hope you three dudettes enjoyed!

_Eulogy For the Useless_


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